stupidstupidstupid

'don't care.' If the people you surround yourself with stress you out, put you down, or make you uncomfortable...you should NOT be around them. There should be no explaination why, it should be blatently obvious to the person, considering they act that way.
so you ask, whats popular these days? i'll tell you:
being a bitch, backstabbers, arrogance, being uptight, and being flat out fake. five best friends or fifty aquantences? five best friends.
one best friend or one hundred friends? one best friend.
you really only need that one person, to tell everything and anything to, to be able to hangout untill you literally never want to see them again, but then they leave and you want them to come back over. that one person who you always get in the stupidest fights with, but then forget about it because you know it won't matter in the end. plus the next time you see them you can't help but smile and laugh about how stupid our fights are. i kinda lost that person, so now i only have about six best friends, who i really would not consider best friends if you knew the shit they talked and the things they do. i still don't know how i deal with them. its hard to get away.

wake up alone

it's funny how stupid people can be

stop trying to hide it , tell me what your problem is do not talk about me.

go on believe if it turns you on

so0o0oo i think im gonna start writing about more interesting things in here...cause thats funner. (more fun? fuck that ahah) you know posting pictures, writing about my day (cause you care), and other shitshitshit.

something to think about

i know how to make things really good

but i also know how to makes things really bad

maybe i'm crazy?

there are so many opportunities that i could be taking but i don't.
there is so much to do ... but i just don't.
there is so much i shouldnt be doing ... but i do.

stop

i only have one goal right now
and that is to stop procrastinating.


I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be



get me out.



edit/


i'll just keep sitting there and act like i care.

confidence

can change everything. you don't notice the girl who stands there with her head down and no expression on there face.
you do notice the girl who floats around like she owns the place, always talking and laughing with someone with a smile on her face.
if you don't have confidence in yourself then you will never acheive what you want.
'if theres a will theres a way'
if you want it don't just sit there fantisizing about it, dreaming about it, and talking to your friends about it.
go out and get it. make it happen. and don't take no for an answer.
it might not always come when you want it to, but eventually you'll get it.
the best times are the times that aren't caught on camera. you won't notice how good of a time you are having while its happening. does that make sense? well i hope so.
i've learned that you can't spend your whole life rebeling against authority. the consequences just ruin everything and it will get you no where but a couple weeks/months in your room with no friends no phone no computer, nothing. plus, it always seems to happen around the worst times. eventually i'm gonna have to do something with my life, and i guess the only way i can do that these days is..........school. whether i like it or not, unless i wanna end up in some trailer park, i need to get ontop of things. it feels good to be successful. in anything really. grades, sports, personal goals etc. when those are reached you feel on top of the world.
'is it really that easy?' yes.
you just have to stop thinking so much and give just a LITTLE more effort. it's not as bad as i make it out to be, i just make exusese and procrastinate, so it makes it ten times worse. i just need time. i need to pause everything so i can catch up to the world.
just a little big longer, and i'll be fine
(did i just quote the jonas brothers? ...sorry, but it was just appropriate.)

our relationship is bipolor

please choose.


the more i love life, the more expectations and goals i set...
which causes more stress, and more worrys
which deffenitally...doesn't make me love life.

i'm running on empty, its a good kind of empty
they say food is fuel, but i dont seem to need that fuel

im content with the changes i'm seeing
i know they will just keep getting better

critisism is my weakness. i will second guess myself, i will believe you,
but it won't change anything
half the things i say you put down, whether your kidding or not, i can never really tell
i get over it.

my life starts

now.

try.fail.try

everything is taken a turn
and its for the best this time

i've changed more in the past month then i ever planned
its all a new start

ive realized how much time i wasted,
worrying, caring too much, obsessing over the smallest details of life
sitting and pouting is not going to get you anywhere


try.fail.try
that pretty much sums it up



i have nothing else to say

dolla dolla bill

NAHHHHHH.


im so excited for so many things
even though half of them probobly wont even happen
but its okay :)


im still young, i need to slow down.
i have so many expectations and so many desires
that i know will never be filled.
some of the things that are happening now are soo good.
i need to stop and not take them for granted.
there are some nights where i just wanna stay
in that spot/with those people
i'm so over restraints, deadlines, and rules.
your holding me back, i'm never gonna be able to experience
anything for myself, i'm never gonna be able to make mistakes
and learn from them. i need you to trust me
you can't trust me? you havn't givin me the oppurtunity to prove you wrong.

there is no room for sparks

show her lightening.

i miss, i want, i need, i have, i live.
i miss my best friend.
i miss my favorite band.
i want a new computer.
i want more changes.
i need to try.
i need to be more confident.
i have the best friends.
i have more to accomplish.
i live for the moment.
i live for you.


i cant wait for the summer. its taking too long.
the sun, the tan skin, CAMP.
i can't wait to go back.
i can't wait for the road trip.
i can't wait for the thrill.
i can't wait for the independance
'All those late nights walking through front doors at daybreak'
i can't wait.

Think.

“One good thing about music, when it hits- you feel no pain”





I'm lost, and i still don't see that open door.

i get up, i fall down,

Meanwhile, i keep dancing.


"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong, or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

puddin'

just a thought thats been running through my head:
you think 'successful' means
-on the radio
-in the magazines
-on TV
-guest starring in movies
-having everyone like you

it's the opposite of that. the 'successful' people are the unknown people, the people that don't THINK there good, but there amazing. they just need to get out and see it, show it.





its called a 'group project' for a reason.
don't take it all on yourself.
you'll be pulling all nighters just like myself.

this is a crash course

its only thrill if its not at your house.
otherwise it's just anxiousness, nervouseness, and anxiety.

i'm kinda like a dead ipod, the music won't play if the battery is dead.
no charge? no music.
no one to push me along? no me.

all the goals rushing through my head are just making it hard to complete just one.
my blogs probobly sound depressing, well i'm far from that. all my feelings just come out more when i actually have a place to write them down. you wouldn't know it, but i'm real happy right now.
i'm more confused.
i wish i didn't worry so much about my appearence, and about how people view/judge me.
as much as i tell myself i don't, i do, and i have a reason too.

i want to break necks, i only break mirrors.


get me some good solid friends. friends that i ALWAYS want to be with. friends with the same interest or goals as me. i only have a couple of those.

lets make a difference, lets be known, lets go crazy.
fuck education. fuck deadlines. fuck.
let loose, who cares.

heres a popular quote.
'you only live once'
well its right,
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.

just for kicks and giggles

so i sat around all day, and now i'm just really hyped up. i'm happyhappyhappyy (:
lifes good, so theres really nothing to mope and complain about.
i'm about to go shopping with the girls, and then party lataaa.




jaggerbombs<3

don't get yourself worked up

shes just jealous.


who you talk to in this world doesn't matter, who your friends with, who you've kissed. each has a negative impact. after you talk to someone, the conversations over...most likely its dead on arrival...the fake people know how to cover that up. it doesn't matter if your friends with the biggest rock star on the planet, or if your friends with some semi-famous down to earth rock band. they are just normal people that share there talent with others. you can find fun/talented/whatever people like that anywhere in this world you just have to open your eyes and listen. people focus more on what they see then anything, don't worry about 'giving them something to look at' when it all comes down to that time around 1 AM and your sitting in your bed thinking about that one person, them being so good looking is probobly one of the least things that just keeps running through your mind, or it should be at that. your probobly remembering how they made you laugh, all the jokes they play, or just the way you can talk for hours and still have something to say, no silence. sorry if you don't agree with this, but this is how it should be. the 'cool' people in this world are the ones that try to hard, they are the ones with the problems. the 'nerds' in this world have realized how pointless it is to be what everyone else wants you to be, so there just themselves. they deserve the most credit dontcha think? do you really care if [insert name here] walks into school with some coach shoes and seven jeans? i could care less, it won't make a difference.
your so afraid of being different, of being emotional, or showing emotion, that anything emotional or different that comes out of someones mouth you immediatly put down, you make fun of them. sorry that i can't be how i used to be. why would i want to be how i used to be...if it wasn't even real, if it wasn't even me.

Champion

stop trying so hard. perfect isn't 'in.' you notice someones imperfections the most when they are trying to cover them up. sarcasim is hysterical, but as much as you laugh it off theres always gonna be that one voice in your head that says 'maybe i am really ugly? maybe my outfit doesn't match? maybe i am stupid?' blahblahblah. don't take people seriously. you'll end up wasting your life fighting people out, you'll end up saying things you don't mean, you just say it because they hurt your feelings...so it makes it 'okay.' wellll, no. i'm not gonna waste time caring about little things when i could be out having the time of my life. yeah bitches, life is too short. it will be over before you know it. don't regret anything, whatever got you introuble...its over now, and you probobly had fun doing it, unless you landed yourself a life-sentance in the slammer. that's when ya know you fucked up. you can only depend on people to a certain extent. no ones perfect, so that means...everyone will end up screwing you over, whether you find it out or not. you can't depend on music/bands completely. listen to it, love it, but don't freak out if they get on MTV or get a new girlfriend or whatever. bands love there fans, yes, but they can't hold your hand to help you grow up and become someone in this world. there music can inspire you, but when you find yourself on wits end they aren't gonna be at your side. depending on a band so much will just make you depressed. once you let go a little, you'll notice that your alot happier. trust me, i learned from experience. i'm trying to start over. i have a longer list of goals then your mom's grocery list. everything will be crossed off, everything will be accomplished. lets get fucked up.



on a lighter note, i preordered the new audition CD, champion. havn't gotten it yet, but i listened to it online almost every second. if you don't have it i suggest you go buy it...now.

hi there, how are things?

let's just say 2008 has been better then i ever expected, so far. i'm starting to realize who i am, who i want to be, and what i want to do with my life.

'i won't go unheard or unknown.'

significant, huh?





so, this is my blog? i have no idea what im doing here and i'll probobly be posting alot of random shit.


word.